Hallelujah, thank you founding fathers for giving us a day like July 4th. One of the few days out of the year where we can wear outrageous prints and styles with no social repercussions. (Any holiday where certain colors are prominent on that day allows that, FYI) If your not walking around your annual family barbeque looking like a giant firework or like someone wrapped an American flag around you, a la burrito style, you madame are missing a real opportunity. Want to avoid useless conversations with nosy relatives and friends such as: what happened to the handsome guy from last year, oh you still are working at that place, and my personal fav, you gained a little weight?
Your life should be easy as pie today, just follow my simple advice. Firstly make sure you are dressed like its the fourth of July. (read above) Next fill up your glass with vodka, add a couple ice cubes (make sure you tell everyone its water) and hang out by the pool. Everyone will be coming to compliment you on your patriotic style. If you get too drunk you can just fall into the pool and no one will be the wiser, because you just look too damn cool to do any wrong.
Lastly don’t forget to channel your inner founding father today, you are a strong, independent woman, who can wear what she wants, when she wants and how she wants.