How to steal a dog from a NYC dog park by being fashionable in 9 steps

Step 1: Wear Badass Jewelry

If you come into the dog park wearing baggy straight leg jeans, a t-shirt with a wolf on it, and your arm stack consists of “Livestrong bracelets” your gonna get caught. Make your life a little easier and go in there looking like you own the place. Get on Cruella Di Vil’s levels (minus the fur please) and wear bling that even the most jaded New York fashionistas will ask where they can buy it. Don’t forget your cape you might need to hide the dog at some point.

Step 2: Formulate a Plan


Yes, it’s a obvious step, I know, but a plan is necessary. This is NYC where you need a masters degree to get a job as a waitress. Everyone here is pretty smart so your gonna need to analyze this from all angles.

Step 3: Find a Portable Dog

Good doggy, so small and portable. So cute and cuddly! You are mine! MUHHHHAAAAA

Step 4: Befriend Owner

Take advantage of being at the park and asks questions to make sure the dog is right for you.“Your dog is so cute, whats his name? Is he potty trained? How old is he? shots updated? neutered? temperament?” As a side note remember dogs are like people, we all have our good and bad sides so don’t expect perfection!

Step 4: Have friend distract owner

Your going to need a partner in crime for this, bribe a friend with free brunches. If all your friends are straight laced squares, tell them its for your dissertation on negative social interactions. If they ask why you never told them about getting a phd, get a faraway look into your eye and say, “there are many things you don’t know about me.”

Step 5: Keep Walking


This is the first time you will be holding your new pet so make sure you sing him a little song to comfort him, “rock a bye doggy in my arms, as I steal you, quite you will be, or ill have to run and being dropped is a possibility ”.

Step 6: Uhh I think I am being followed

hmm ok step 6 was suppose to be success but I am being followed….

Step 7: Make a break for it

The idea was to keep walking till you reached the gate, but once your found out its either abort mission or use your clever backup plan (see step 2) to ensure success. My backup plan was to run, hopefully yours is more strategic.

Step 8: Escape the park

If someones at the gate when your trying to escape, act nonchalant and give them the thumbs up. Really though this is where your accessorizing is important. Ideally they will be be so impressed with your bling they wont notice people yelling and running towards you.

Step 9: Enjoy life with your new “found” friend

Congratulations your are now a dog parent, despite your questionable morals, you now have a responsibility for this little furry life. Cook him healthy foods, bring him to get a monthly massage at the dog parlour, and dye his hair a little in case a bunch of wanted posters go up.

For those who rather obtain a dog without stealing it. I would like to direct you to http://www.susiesseniordogs.com/ . This is a wonderful organization, that helps old dogs in shelters find homes. There are so many old, wonderful companions you can find in a shelter, and while a puppy may be fun there are many benefits to getting an older dog too! With age comes wisdom, and many of us can use a wise friend to help us navigate this crazy world!

142 Comments

FILED UNDER : Jewelry & Fashion

  1. I loove dogs, so sweet pictures and yes, asking the name is nice! I loved the jewelry, very boho and the cape is amazing – I thought it wold be a kimono, but cape is OK, too! I also loved the shorts, so nice detail on the hem!
    DenisesPlanet.com

  2. HA! You are hilarious. I’d love to get away with this, despite my questionable morals.
    I think the jewelry is the biggest part of it all.

  3. This post genuinely made me laugh – so funny.. and cute! SO, what you’re saying is.. wearing super fashionable clothing and jewellery and you can become a dog-napper in no time?! Great! 😉

    Gabrielle | A Glass Of Ice

    x

  4. OMG! What a cute post sweetie!! That is my favorite dog park in the city! What a beautiful blog you have. You gain a new follower! 😉

    I would like to invite you to check out my blog. I’m a life coach and every week, I post life coaching blogs and videos to help you achieve your dreams and live a balanced life. I would love to stay in touch with you and have you as part of the community! I hope to see you there and stay in touch! <3

    Diana Bryant

    http://www.ManhattanImageandStyle.com – Blog

    http://www.DianaBryant.com – Web

  5. Ha ha, brilliant post!! This is the perfect look for dog napping 🙂
    I love those shorts, the print is fantastic!

    xo, jackie
    stylemydreams.com

  6. Love your outfit! And I might have to save this post because the kids want a dog but they’re too darn expensive nowadays. Ha. Thanks! 😉

  7. P.S. You need to put some social sharing buttons on your posts so we can share your awesomeness to the world! At least Twitter, Facebook, and Google! 😉 I’d follow you!

  8. Bom dia
    Amei este post e me encantei em conhecer o seu blog. Ele é cheio de estilo, ótimas dicas e tem uma aparencia espetacular! Fiquei muito feliz em te conhecer.
    Beijos!!!
    viciadasemlivros911.blogspot.com.br

  9. Half of me was thinking, Georgina, don’t do this. Stealing a dog is just plain wrong. The other half of me was thinking, Georgina, you’re in a bad fix and you got to do whatever it takes to get yourself out of it.

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